Why My Dad Is the Most Adorable Man I will Ever Meet

I have been blessed in this life to have great men in my family. My grandfather was an amazing, sweet person and I miss him every day. My brother, 15 years my senior, has become one of my dearest friends. But the creme de la creme of all is my father.

He was 40 when I was born, which back then was an oddity. Everyone thought he was my grandfather! I am lucky to have a dad who knows who he is and has always been strong for me. Always.

This does not mean that he isn't the most naive person (in some respects) that I have EVER met. He is also one of the funniest people I've met...unintentionally of course. There are many things that crack me up about Big Jack...playing games with him (making him say "douche bag" out loud in a particularly hysterical round of Balderdash stands out right now)...how he pretends to not hear you when you're right next to him but can decipher anything if you're two rooms away from him hollering.

My favorite, however, are his classic voicemail messages.

He very rarely calls me...most of the time it's my mom (who relays info between the two of us). If forced to leave a message, then things get tricky.

Back in the days of answering machines, I came home to this nugget of cuteness. I swear to God this is the truth.
"Hello, this is Mouthy's father. Please have her call me. At my home. She has the
number. Thank you."

Because I have a personal assistant, aka my answering machine, who tends to tedious tasks such as taking messages. Right?

Saturday he left this classic.
"Mouthy, this is your father. Um...please call me as soon as possible regarding my ladder. Thank you."

Keep in mind this is all done in a very monotone, gruff, irritated sounding voice. When you are almost 36 and your dad calls and says "this is your father", two things happen. One, you feel like you're about 13 again, and two, you assume you forgot to take out the trash or were late for curfew or something. He actually did this to my brother once and freaked him out because he assumed that something had happened to Mom. Because Dad NEVER calls!

I called back, crying because I was laughing so hard. He couldn't understand why I thought it was so funny...but kept telling me to stop giving him a hard time about it. He's a technological infant.

But at least I wasn't in trouble. This time!